it is what it is but it isn't what it was 

 tonight i will lie very still and picture your face 

 try to imagine what you are doing and where you are and who you are with 

 don't think i don't care, i care but i can't say 

 if it didn't matter then there's no need to say it didn't matter 


 tonight i will lie very still and force myself to remember the time my parents ate the curry you cooked 
 i will force myself to remember the events of the next month and the next year